My little Half Pint is getting to the ripe old age of two, and people have started bringing their best “only child” comments forward for my displeasure. Because, who has only one child these days? I need at least two for us to be considered a real family, right? There’s always going to a be a few doozys that make you stare in disbelief. Here’s a few of the colorful comments I’m already sick of hearing:
“So, working on number two anytime soon?”
Not that our sex life is any of your business, Susan, but no we are not. Even though we do find time to be intimate, our end game is not to “stick a baby in there.” If the time ever came that we were crazy enough to want another, I’ll be sure to give you a front row seat free of charge. 😉
“She needs someone to keep her entertained!”
Weird, I feel like that’s been my job since her birth! I didn’t read the fine print on her birth certificate that said *Entertainment position null and void after age 2.* Phew, and I thought I was in this gig for life!
“You’re going to be such a great big sister!”
This comment comes from people who have already asked and heard our One-and-Done statement. The ones who just refuse to get the picture, and think we’re playing some kind of cruel joke on them. The ones who firmly believe we must have children for THEM instead of US. My apologies to you, how could I have been so selfish as to not think of your wants when making this decision?
“Man, she’ll be one spoiled kid.”
Oh, the old “Only Child Syndrome” coming into play. You’re right, Frank, because since she’s an only child I thought to myself “Welp, looks like we don’t have to teach her to share!” If by spoiled you mean she’ll have parents who wont have to worry about whether or not they’re giving their children equal amounts of attention then, yes, shes as spoiled as they come.
“She needs another baby around so she knows how to interact”
Between her family, our friends and meeting strange kids at the playground, she gets plenty of exposure to other children. If you’d take the time to observe, you’d see she doesn’t even care for infants. She’s always curious about what the big kids are doing. But, please, tell me more about how you know whats best.
“Don’t wait too long to change your mind”
This is my last and final PSA. We do not want more children. We feel whole already. Our Livy fills us with enough joy and laughter to last three more lifetimes. While, sure, if a surprise happens we wil love that baby just as much as we do her. For now, and into the far future, we are most certainly One-and-Done.
Jenuine Motherhood 